Grand Prize - Grand? Has Anyone Except Your Aunt Tillie Used That Term Since 1937?

PRESENTING Oink Ink’s Dead Radio
Contest Winner

Writer: Tommy Troncoso
Agency: BBDO
Title: “Wright Brothers”
Client: Amp Energy Drink

 

 

 

 

VO: (Big Introduction) Amp Energy drink presents: great moments before the moments in history.
SFX: Powerful gusts of wind and waves crash.
VO: The year is 1900. Orville and Wilbur Wright journey to Kitty Hawk, North Carolina to test pilot their 52-pound double-decker glider over the breezy Atlantic coast.
Orville: All set, my good brother.
Wilbur: She looks mighty fine, Orville.
Orville: Okay, Wilbur, climb in.
Wilbur: No, that’s quite alright, my dear boy, why don’t you go?
Orville: No, I insist, after you.
Wilbur: No, after you.
Orville: After you.
Wilbur: After you.
Orville: No, after you.
SFX: (awkward pause.)
Orville: It’s pretty windy, huh?
SFX: (another awkward pause.)
Orville: Uh Wilbur, I think I’m going to be sick.
Wilbur: Fine, I’ll go, you Nancy boy.
VO: That was great moments before the moments in history. Before every moment, there is a moment. Amp Energy Drink. Amp up.
SFX: Heart racing. Wilbur screaming as he descends.

To listen to the winning spot, Click Here.


Runners-Up - Isn't there a Nicer Way to Put This?

SILVER

Writer: Joe O’Neill
Agency: Freelance
Title:“Porn Star Name”
Client: McLuhan Festival of the Future

ANNCR:
His online-generated Pimp name is ‘Slick Tight’.
His online-generated Mexican Wrestler name is ‘Raton Fuerte’.
His online-generated Emo name is ‘Abandoned by God’.
His online-generated Prison Bitch name is ‘Piglet’.
His online-generated Porn Star name is ‘Pud Bendover’.
Marshall McLuhan has been dead nearly 25 years. But he saw all this coming.
The McLuhan Festival of the Future, October 10th through 17th in Toronto.
Come and find out what’s next.



BRONZE

Writer: Neil Blewett
Agency: Zig
Title:”BLEEPing Camisole”
Client: Ikea

MALE SWEDISH ANNCR: Because a PAX wardrobe from IKEA makes finding clothes easy in the morning, you won’t say something you’ll regret.
WOMAN (FRUSTRATED): Where the BLEEP is my camisole?
MALE SWEDISH ANNCR: Which your impressionable daughter will hear and tell her friend Cindy
DAUGHTER (VERY INNOCENT): Where the BLEEP is my camisole?
MALE SWEDISH ANNCR: And Cindy’s older brother, MC Big Gold Chain will use it in a song
SFX: RAP MUSIC
RAPPER: Where the BLEEP is my camisole? Where the BLEEP is it?
MALE SWEDISH ANNCR: Which will win the award for Song of the Year.
SFX: AWARDS CEREMONY
PRESENTER: …and the winner is ‘Where the BLEEP is my camisole’ by MC Big Gold Chain.
MALE SWEDISH ANNCR: Then it will become everyday slang and everyone will start saying it, like your husband.
HUSBAND: So then I tell Derek ‘Where the BLEEP is my camisole’
MALE SWEDISH ANNCR: Even English nobility will start using it.
OLD WOMAN (SOUNDS LIKE ENGLISH ROYALTY): Phillip, where the BLEEP is my camisole?
MALE SWEDISH ANNCR: All because you didn’t have a PAX wardrobe from IKEA to keep your clothes organized.
FEMALE ANNCR: Right now, get 20% off PAX wardrobes. IKEA. Any space can be beautiful.